blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

hazel-grace-lancaster:

so my history teacher is a really cool guy but he’s also one of those teachers who, upon being asked “can i go to the bathroom?” goes “i don’t know, *can* you?” and he did it to a girl and she goes “WHAT ARE YOU PREPARING ME FOR? YOU REALIZE THAT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL I WILL NEVER NEED TO ASK PERMISSION TO USE THE BATHROOM AGAIN, AND THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF CAN SAYS ‘BE PERMITTED TO’”