So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
so in biology, this kid kept looking at his crotch and moving his hands back and forth, and we were all wondering what he was doing and the teacher saw and told him to show her what he was doing and hE WAS FUCKING CROCHETING UNDER HIS JACKET OMG. HE HAD A BALL OF YARN ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS HEAD AND A SCARF ABOUT 3/4 OF HIS HEIGHT
so my history teacher is a really cool guy but he’s also one of those teachers who, upon being asked “can i go to the bathroom?” goes “i don’t know, *can* you?” and he did it to a girl and she goes “WHAT ARE YOU PREPARING ME FOR? YOU REALIZE THAT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL I WILL NEVER NEED TO ASK PERMISSION TO USE THE BATHROOM AGAIN, AND THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF CAN SAYS ‘BE PERMITTED TO’”